Your Son is Not Your Man: Making Others Pay for Your Mistakes

James-Gloria-5x4_DiashowI read an article that was refreshing and a complete contrast to the “My baby gonna buy his momma a house” syndrome that plagues the Black collective. Now what I am about to address is something that could apply to the males in the “family” but more so the “mothers” for they get the most press and they standout in light of the Black collective being a matriarchy in place of the patriarchy it once was.  As you can tell by the title and my preliminary words I am going to address Black “mommas”.

In the Black collective there is an unspoken code regarding how to view mommas. You are to never say anything wrong or negative about them and if you do there is going to be a fight. This applies whether the father is present or not. You can talk about someone’s father all day in most cases but you better not say anything about their momma.

We put these women on pedestals and many times for no good reason just because they participated in a natural biological process called sexual relations and delivered a child. No one questions the circumstances of your conception, or acknowledge the fact that your mother had sex. In the majority of Black men’s minds their mother is the Virgin Mary and they were conceived via some miraculous intervention. When that is farthest from the truth. Even when they witness their mother living a loose lifestyle they block it out and refuse to call a spade a spade. Any type of negative traits inherent in that person does not exist according to them.

This Oedipal fixation within the Black collective is recognized by these women and they use it to their advantage.  They make all these mistakes over and over again with these philandering men and then expect their children—especially one or all of the Black males to take care of them when they become of age. In other words they made many unhealthy and damaging decisions over the years and didn’t pursue anything better for themselves or their progeny and then expect the kids to grow up and get a well-paying job and take care of them.

You see this a lot in situations where the Black male child has an affinity for sports and when they finally make it somewhere in the field you will see the Black male in the media stating how he is going to buy his (single) mother “a house” or some other item(s) that she wasted her life and could not acquire for herself.

Yeah folks will say “Oh she was there for me and raised me when my no good so-and-so father wasn’t around!”, but people tend to ignore the fact that she was the one that CHOSE your no good so-and-so father to begin with. I know there are exceptions to this and various other reasons why a person’s father might not be present but I am speaking of majority of the situations.

No Inheritance

I said all of this to get to my main point. I firmly believe that Black parents should have been performing the same acts of love and concern for their progeny as Whites, Asians and other groups.  Ever since integration Black people have stopped building for the most part thus they did not leave anything for those that followed. No Concept of generational wealth and all that encompasses is present by in large.  Since there is nothing to inherit in the form of a means to generate passive income Black children must strive to educate themselves and identify a way to acquire income but said income is not going towards building their own future. That revenue partially goes towards their “parent” or “parents” who squandered their opportunities to build and leave something behind.

Another Path

rsHowever the story does not die here, there is something that appeared in the media that went under the radar of most in relation to American football cornerback for the Seattle Seahawks of the NFL (National Football League) Richard Sherman. No it is not about Richard Sherman’s volatile relationship with the media nor his activities at the 2015 Super Bowl.

What I am highlighting is something that is diametrically opposed to what we see in the media regarding Black males that attain a spot in professional sports and how their family members react to it or what they expect.

This is about Kevin Sherman the father of Richard Sherman. Even though he has “a son who kevsherrecently signed a $56 million contract with the Seattle Seahawks, Kevin Sherman still wakes up early to do the job he has done for more than two decades.” Yes unlike the many Black mommas that expect their sons to provide for them something a more stable mate would have acquired for them or they would have attained for themselves if they had the initiative to actually build something this man strives to NOT burden his son regardless of how much he makes. In the interview he is quoted as saying:

“It’s something to keep busy, and it’s easy now. If I take a day off, I don’t need to worry about where my money is coming from. I want to get that pension and the medical benefits just so it’s one more thing my son doesn’t have to worry about. I’m always going to be making money. I want to fix it so that even when I’m not working, I’m getting paid.”

Also it is not just his father that has this mentality but his mother as well. Richard Sherman’s mother Beverley, continues to work “with disabled inner-city children.” imagesNow these are genuine parents. They truly love their child, while as far as we know they did not leave him any wealth yet they arranged matters where they are not dependent on their son so he can in turn build and create generational wealth (Hopefully he would take this opportunity to do so).

While many of these Black households are matriarchal and consist of single women that are making ghastly choices and raising men that abandon their women and offspring and no one want to address it there will be more of this mother or goddess worship in Black homes but articles like this shines like a ray of hope and communicates to these women that your son is not your man and he shouldn’t have to pay for your mistakes.

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Your Son is Not Your Man: Making Others Pay for Your Mistakes